family….

so in my culture…or rather in the family culture…its still…. most commonly….grow up…study…marry…give birth…bring up the kids…(course it doesnt matter how)….say u love ur family(even if u dnt know why)….watch them repeat the cycle…(tht ofcourse they cant break..)…wish for grand kids…maybe see them…and die…..woooohoooo wat a life!….hey family’s great…..even better are kids…the closest individuals to individuality……
but does everyone need to be part of this…i mean the worlds population is big enough….yesss i know alot of the blame goes to my indian ‘brothers and sisters’…and if the worlds comin to an end…if we keep reproducing……more ppl are gonna die…
but this isnt abt reproduction…its just abt the purpose of marriage…..i know most humans are sucky at keepin commitments(so the whole ure united in the eyes of god thing sorta works)…and in alot of ways the family support system n shit…are important……but as far as i’ve seen….among my relatives…and the ppl i really know…..they get into it becuz everyone else does…its just a prerequisite…u dnt have to want to…..u just do it…..u just figure…even if u dont have an arranged marriage u just have to fall in love(so u condition urself)…u supposedly do….have kids…yadayada…..but do u really love ur kids…..or the family as a whole?……ur spouse….?….or did u just let the society condition u to?…..
course the pattern has changed in alot of places…..and family life is pretty screwed up…..(ofcourse theres the brady bunch..and the actually decent families…but…)..but…but……ummmm….well this friend told me this quote from les misrables…”u love me because u like the idea of loving me”….sumhow alot of families seem to be sharing this sort of love…..the romanticised ideas about love…parenting….ur connection with ur kids..in movies & books tht have been around for sooo long….i think have really got to us……
i mean i know parents who say they love their kids…and truely seem to….because even if they dont know them inside out…..theres that real connection….it feels real…when they’re with their kids…u feel this thing…like they’re actually related…not by blood…but souls…..
but i also know parents who say they love their ‘lil ones’…..but refuse to accept tht they’ve grown….refuse to learn frm them…”cuz we’re the parents”….who know they’re kids age…name….date of birth…qualifictions…jobs…salaries…..but they still dnt know them….tht ‘real’ feeling is non existant….it’s sad…like pathetic sad…..
like i sed the romanticized ideas…..wanting to see ur kids get married….and happy…..but u wont really be around all along….but u still wanna see sumthin…tht may not even be true…..its like all these ideas were created…or maybe just naturally developed to keep the cycle goin…..u get wat i mean?…..gosh theres really a limit to the words tht i can use…….!!!
the family thing is great…and its unfair to just have kids…with no parental support…then its like back in the16th and 17th centuries when kids had no value…till they could actually get some work done around their homes and the society….they werent exactly ‘brought up’…they were just given birth to…..maaaan…we’re actually goin back in time…..gosh!…and then we say we’re more civilised……
i just think we need to know wat goes into a family…..to love them…and not be conditioned to love them…to be ready….to know…or instead just be ready to learn…otherwise dont get into it….
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