beyond the broken

so there you are with a crown of hypocracy, never bend…no please dont…stand among them…..correct them, shout and hit them,….while u do exactly what you can’t stand to see others doing…..
been knocking on your wall bitch….can you hear me?……what?…you don’t hear?…..then why the response when the ‘helpless’ knock on your door…?……they stamp all over you….suck you dry……but i…an individual of you own making…is much below significance……because i…..didnt end up being as simple as you wished, shame …the magnitude of what you’ve missed and will miss……
 
it amazes me how some people can be sooo fucking ok with being blind….i hate being ignored when i want to be heard….it would have been ok if i didnt want it…but when i do?….but i’m a fool…but i’ll live with it…..i made my choice….i want to feel it all…and so i will…..the beauty,the love, the hate, hunger, thirst, ignorance……ha ignorance….i have a friend who hates the word……i can’t blame him…..igorance is bliss….a false state of bliss…..not knowing…is part of not being fully human…not feeling, thus not living…..but hey why take the trouble?
 
you’re too scared to die you say……you want to live…..really?….or do you just want to exist…..there…thats the difference…..between choosing to simply breathe….and choosing to live= to let every fucking millimetre of your body feel every sensation….to stimulate every bit of your brain….to make use of every bit of your existance….you need balls to do that……i still dont have enough guts to feel it all…but ima get there….i’m going to….cause i want to…before i die……i need to live…to the purpose of my entire being….
 
there…drifted away…i was on about hypocracy…..i sat there….telling him how could he go on doing what he does when he…or they used to instigate us, condemn us for the exact same things, before he was even able to complete his justification(that some habits cant be changed thought they tell me if theres a will theres a way..ha!)……what did he do?….averted his head…..bastard…..looked down at the food and asked….’what do they put in this?’…i said..’.i dont know’…more over…i dont give a fuck…..wish i could not give a fuck about how they act as well…..another time i tried to convey how i felt….it was funny…..another time…..what psychiatry course someone i could care less about was more important than the fact that i was hurting….
 
there, i want to laugh but i cant…cry?…no i wish……scream?…u kidding me?…….hurt more….sure…a master at that…so what happens at the point when none of your outlets work….you’re broken ….and then…..you go where…..?brush the peices to one corner….sit with your hands tight around your head….you’ve had enough…can’t stand a sound…..there….sit, hum to yourself, because only you can change….the rest will stay the same……….
Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s