change

on that not…ha…i’m already feeling better….
oh yeah…on that note……change?….ha we all want others to change…well ok not all…i dont want others to change all tht much…just certain people….certain things about them
but how can i expect them to….?,…i wouldn’t change unless i thought it would actually help me…used to be a little more flexible before…which is ok…but not always good…..just cause someone wants u to change anything u cant…..thts when ppl walk over you…..
 
but what if you can’t see how it’ll help you….your relationship with them…..especially when u wanted it to be a particular way…funny how you can expect something…but not do anything to reach there…a good drream…..but u think it comes easy…you get the chemicals and place them there….u dont need to mix them…fools!
 
but in the end we’ll only do what benefits us…..no?…..oh fuck off……..
why’d you give money to the begger?….cause he was begging……and…..it made ‘me’ feel good……
why did you pick up your friends luggage…cause they needed help…..and helping them makes you feel good…their thank yous make ‘you’ feel good….’me’ ‘you’ ‘i’…thats it….i dont think its wrong…its just how it is….it’s ok…..not bad….you still do good for ppl….but absolute altruism…naaa….even if you have alot to sacrifice , in the end your words go…..’but it felt good’…..’least heavens gates are open to me’…
ya tht too…that reminds me….i mean i cant believe in heaven…but we’re taught…u do this…help others…yadayada…off you’ll go for heavens pearly gates….meet saint peter…..your id card states u’ve been a good girl or boy…..and he’ll let you right in……and give u candy and a little pat on your head….ok yess….i like to imagine the whole scene…..
but my point is…they pretty much teach us to do the nice things for non altruistic reasons….everything has consequences…good actions benefit us…not only those we help….
 
so ummm…change?…..not  a simple thing…till one wants to…till one truely sees the benfit to oneself…it aint going to happen…or if it does…it aint gonna last…
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