raven black

i climbed up to the the top most bit of the terrace….i saw a raven fly upto that point….and climbed and sat next to it…it didn’t budge…it was sooo cool…..jet black…beautiful…..its beak like wood carved and varnished……. panthers and ravens…theres an elegance…..there’s a solitary bliss….a confidence, thats strong powerful and not the making of false pride…
 
for some reason the raven seems more attractive…a shorter life span……but a bigger life…i watched it….and its brothers or cousines or whoever fly….they stand at the tip of height and let themselves fall and spread their wings……every bird i guess does the same
what would it be like…….?you’re your own safety net…just drop….and never hit the ground….fighting gravity u sore….live among the clouds…
 
i think angels are human dreams…
with our brains….i dont think having wings would have been a good idea……human…the ultimate organism, the capacity to go beyond boundaries that other animals probably can’t…a mental capacity so high, so strong, so intricrate that for us the line between the normal and abnormal is pretty much non existant…we’d misuse them….we’ve misused alot of what we have…..we’d misuse wings….fuck knows with the ability to go out of our bodies through our minds, with wings, we’d take flight beyond where our minds with bodies stuck to the ground can go….
 
i’m drifting…i’m negative……..but i feel the priveledged often lack humility……i wonder if angels (meaning humans with wings…not the supernatural), if they were human mutants….would use phrases like ‘u act like a human’ the same way humans say ‘u act like a dog’……i wonder if ‘we’ would be looked at as things to be tamed and brought in line for those who have the ability to build cities in the sky with out ever having to touch the ground……i wonder
how we use those things as comparisons when they act on instinct…….some animal lovers hate to belive that they just do not have the capacity to think, and process thoughts, that bit isnt there, when they’re needs are so basic…..their actions are so grounded……while we over think, over run, over ride,over over evrything….how ca we compare, criticise, those who only flow in natures ways while we shit all over its path…..
or maybe they are more than that…maybe they fool us with barks and meow, brays and moos, maybe theres more to what the scientists’ eyes can see…still i dont see them fucking up the world…
 
back to the point….i’d love to have wings….i always wanted to fall from the tip of a building….and keep falling……and then as i get nearer to the ground….my wings spread out and i sore….but i’m scared…i feel as if the worst of me is still to come out…..each of us has that devil…that demon we create….stored locked up…..some know how to let out its fumes in tiny brusts that keep them sane….others hold it caged till it leads to and explosion…others implode and are not treated as humans anymore……i feel with an extra bit to us…more than we already have……this demon would be worse
 
but we dont have wings….
so we have suicide
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