sellin jesus, saints and chastity belts

so we’ve been told this is right and that is wrong…..then we dont need to be told…we start to see it for ourselves…..we learn ways to learn, re learn, hopefully unlearn some shitty ‘right and wrongs’ taught  not really because the actions were polarized(dunno if the word is aplicable but i like it..) but because they just wanted us to confirm to bloody norms…..
now i don’t know if there’s any life after death..heaven, hell are concepts that i’ve felt have been created and over animated for the sake of hope and cause people just can’t accept that when you’re dead…you’re just dead….so i asked my religiously religious friend, that if i pretty much spend most of my life, doing good, being good, harm no one, just being humane, even to myself (though thats one of the hardest things i find to do) giving and spreading respect..but i don’t pray or belive in anything  then on this ‘day of judgement’ would i go to heaven or hell?? about a month or so back…the answer was….i dont know…..
forward it to a few days back and apparently i’ll be punished….by being sent to the perils of hell for not believeing……answer=confused anus…..
after a little thought…the answer=amused anus…….
so that would mean…if i am punished for my believes…or non-believes …..then your belief is something to be judged by?… ok…your actions and intentions have to be good….but your belief becomes a thing of right and wrong? that my friend is so ridiculous. that makes being in line with norms and standards that the majority follow ‘right’? i’m not saying all of these hidden, spoken or uspoken norms are bad……but soem are just ridiculous…fake… opening doors for woman and stuff…..but belief…..that shouldn’t be on a judgment scale….so if we’re all say a happy bunch of christians and ummm we all believe in christ but half don’t believe in mary’s power as a saint….then that would make one half wrong and the other right….muslims believe jesus was another profit while christians believe he was the son of god…..and that has implications for us cause thats why they follow different religions so does that make on religion right and the other wrong?…and in that case how will all these believers know what they are doin is right in the first place……?
or maybe i’m pushing it….mayeb it has to just do with the belief in ‘god’…..but that doesnt change my viewpoint on how then people will be judged by their beliefs, then this so called true freedom of choice becomes a game…..a game like everything else……
nothing changes…but i’m just amused how far the unknown can push us… we’re not really different from the times when we were barbarians, sacrificing people, taking earthly signs like thunder and eclpises for signs from gods…back then nature was the unknown, but now that we’ve atleast understood one angle of how nature works we’ve created a wider unknown, we wanna protect ourselves from it, precaution turns into beliefs, we forget why and just believe, and convince ourselves that all this belief and action and inaction and paths and ideas are real because the unknown is real and the unknown can be anything we want it to be…..
not that it matters to me… friend asked…what if on that day i do find out there’s a hella nd get sent there despite all the good or whatever i did…..i said fine….i’ll deal with it….what else can i do? change myself, my perspective just out of fear of being sent to some heaven or hell that im not sure exists…but just in case….gosh!
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