to hold on to

maybe you have to start working……like really, truely have to stand on your own two feet to hold money dear to your heart….for it to wet your eyes when you just think of it….
it’s not that i don’t see the value in money…its got a purpose but it’s not always genuine and positive, as far as i’ve seen…it’s one of our many creations that should only serve the purpose of being fuel to the fire not the fire itself…i know i know in that sense…things are only valuable if we place value on them….its more personal…
soooo weeellll…in your current situation what do you value the most?…whats that one thing that when even a scratch appears on it you feel like pulling your intestines out and dance to the cheeky girls?.?
for me its my drawings and writings…burn my hair, give me a blonde wig and call me paris but do not take my work away from me…i hold onto it like a child with its hands wrapped around its mother’s finger..i know if it all goes i could write and draw more..or even re do everything..but i hate repitition and usually anything i repeat is seriously flawed because it isn’t genuine….it’s like how you hold onto old post cards and old music albums even if you no longer listen to those songs…’s liek when you hold onto memories long after their traces have been washed off like the sea washes off footprints in the sand…..
that’s what they are to me…..paragraphs of words, oneliners, miserable brush strokes, passable shadings…..they are overflowing with memories, my voices….history and changing interpretations…stories about me hidden, the obvious, made up tales, you think you can’t learn much more from yourself?…think again…
then there’s the effort you put into something…..memories aren’t the only things that add value…..the time and thought and care spent into doing something can mean so much,,,the same way we can selectively focus our attention, we selectively focus the effort we put into something…some people (and hats off to them) can focus on almost everything but some of us are only truely awake when we’re doing what we really want to, our will is our drive….our drive is our passion, with a fashion for smashin all that’s in sight when we have our eyes carved in our livers to watch our hearts through our lungs….
and then…i’m guessing like everything in this world…what or who we value is going to change…try not get caught up in some sort of lifeless game…as for meaning…..meaning is, again your choice…staying true to yourself comes from your voice…
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