fine line

there’s a fine line between sanity and insanity and sometimes these two worlds get integrated and you live in this world with multiple personalities, with this massive human sponge brain, with this mind that no one can locate, and this blessing, this advanced programmed new age development can be the biggest curse.

she said something like distruction is not always bad, it can be good sometimes. it can end a cycle so a new one can begin. i love that. i agree with that. i embrace it. but maybe i embrace it too often. what happens when you break and mend or restart again and again? what comes of it? alot and alot more feelings of guilt, feelings of failure, than the wall you broke did not bring in the sunlight but instead brought up an other wall. 
this cycle, becomes a cycle of destruction. now thats not right is it? but what’s right and wrong anyway? or maybe it’s how u look at it.u got only one life u know of. u started it at birth u’ll end it at at death. but u can’t keep killing urself everytime u think u need to restart and bring urself back to life. so maybe giving ur chance to restart is a beautfiul gift to give urself.
and what does this have to do with sanity or insanity? i feel those mental break downs we have, where some of us may scream out, and lash out at the world…or we may completely go silent (ot all those other things people tend to experience like sudden burst of OCD, bingeing behaviours, etc.) are in a way destroying our minds all at once. like the big bang that started all life. and after that u come out renewed, refreshed.
ofcourse the question comes to do we let ourselves completely go to the other side? i think the answer is yes.if u dive into something with all ur heart..even if it madness…if u break the fine line….u will want to come back with all the new insight that u may have.but if u sink below the line slowly, and keep thinking about how this is mad…u’re bound to sink deeper…’cause u don’t fully indulge in it…u don’t learn from it fully…u’ll want to explore it…but with one foot above the line for security….but if u  lose the security for a few moments, dive into it and see the flames in ur eyes rise up and burn all the shit that’s been getting to u, u destroy it all, the pain, the regret, and u just give urself a new blank page to re fill with beauty.
notice i said ‘may’. i’m no smart ass. but this is just what i believe in. putting heart into ur rise and ur downfall, destruction and reconstruction, into madness and sanity can take u further in life and within urself than u thought u could reach.
enjoy the madness, lose the so called dignity and the walls. fall to live again.
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