So what are the ‘appropriate’ experinces for a kid?
bad shit happens to everyone and people sympathize with them… personally i think sypmathy is like dipping fries in ice cream, it just tastes like nothing. and kids, the two words that always go together, when it comes to those to whom ‘noble’ acts are done too, the two categories who are saved first when there’s a problem, by default the captain of the ship will order his crew to save all "women and children" first. "women and children". frankly i think yeah save the children, and maybe a handful of men and women, because adding women to the children seems unfair in so many ways.
first it implies that women are utterly useless in doing anythin to help out so might as well keep them aside to take care of the kids.
or it implies that women are only good for domestic duties.
or that men are utterly useless in bringing up kids.(and there are sinlge fathers who do great and working women who excel)
and say it’s 2012, and the scientists plan to only save women and children, what we’re gonna ensure the continuity of the human race with pedophelia?…although science is coming up with ways to make men absolutely unwanted for the very act of conception…hmmm……
ok that’s besides the point. the whole last para has little to do with this blog but try having a conversation with me….it goes quite like this.
i believe life comes with a certain amount of good and bad things…it’ll throw u some opportunites…it’s in ur hands to take action. ofcourse at certain point in life u may have less control than in other times….especially as children…u’re more held back by obedience, by the over-shadowing of authority …etc. etc.
sometimes things will happen to u when u have little control or when u have alot. but people are over protective of kids…no im not saying u must just not care and let them wander around aimlessly, and i know its hard to draw a line exactly at the right point for them just learn enough about the world at each stage…but i think they must be allowed to have like this circle around them….this distance within which u can let go of them to get hurt, to get angry, to fight, to struggle. ofcourse it’s insticnt for u to want none of this to ever happen, but that’s life, it’s beautiful and it’s tough…and till i find other words to replace these that i repeat too often….theres alot to learn……
what’s the ideal childhood? what do kids with the ideal childhood look like anyway? the kids who smile with mouthfulls of cereal on cereal boxes, with the polite understanding father, the moderately strict yet affectionate mother, and minor sibling rivalry. no abuse, all the members of this unit are not human, they do not feel unnecassray levels of anger, they have no dreams beyond the growth of their family, their well being, not the slightest bit of selfishness. the parents do eveyrthing for their kids and the kids have no expectations, but to grow up well and healthy, study well what has been taught for a hundred years and there are hearts popping out off the tops of their roofs, and balllloons tied to the tails of little pink bunnies who run about the house ..no.. home….with joy, joy and more joy.(that was just a long figure of speech)
.when kids go through abuse, be it sexual, verbal, physical….a quite a common remark or thought is…a kid shouldnt have to be subject to such experiences……what does this remark mean anyway?….well i do believe in karma,,,and i guess when the same things happen to people say above 16 (whatever age u think people start thinking a little more clearly…have more responsibility) you could say ‘who knows? maybe karma is having a bite at them’….you could also say that being older we’re better equipped to handle such shit than kids…so yeah definitely it may be better if the worst happens to u later on in life…
but is that it?…i mean if u are not subject to bitter experiences as a kid….maybe u’d never know that such things even exist…..u may hear of them from else where but theres nothing that fucks u up more tha a first hand experience..either directed at u or some one else….reality is a bitch…whenever shit happens…and if not when u’re a kid it will happen at sometime….life’s balance… i call it….
i mean to a certain extent somethings are also better delt with when some ones an adult…like teenage pregnancy be it a result of rape or consensual sex…all the implications of such experiences or on future sexual experiences…one’s more developed…mentally, physically and hopefully emotionally as well….and im not saying this means its ok to harm kids cause they’re more vulnerable or anything like that..but ..
i just think our attitude towards kids need to change…to see them as humans and not some other species who suddenly makes a transformation into a human when they hit 20 or something….they’re not diamonds to be kept in bubbles…..be open with them, speak freely to them but in their language…give them an open world and let them experience…and when hurt happens don’t hold on tighter but teach them to be stronger.
accept there is no perfect childhood and welcome lessons from life that go beyond books…and ofcourse tv…
realize who is really behind the glass….