pendulum

watch the pendulum swing.

it’s this now, it’ll be something else later.
how many times do you need to make a fool of yourself before you stop?
is it wrong to stop?
is it wrong to not hope?
no. you make your choices.
then why can’t you cut the chord that links you to your dreams and desires?
the same chord that leads you to fall flat on your face again, and again , and again, and again.
now the hope lies in your thoughts.
a minute later they’ll transfer to your hands, lips and ears.
it’ll dance in the background and shove you here and there.
and you’ll linger in hope.
and you’ll fall in pain.
and then you’ll write words like these again.
but,
with out vision, what will be movement?
with out hope, what will motivate me?
the only time when i’m willing to pick a side,
is when my vision blurs more than ever.
human, needs, wants, desires, emotions…define life.
without it, i’ll just exist.
the choice of who and when and what
keeps the pendulum swinging…

hate it…kill it…end this….
forget yourself, find the greater purpose.
be the instrument, the puppet, for your own show.
that will suffice….that should suffice.
self neglect may be a crime in their books.
but so is self harm.
self love is a sad joke in my world.
the storm here, comes before the calm.
i am pathetically inadequate in finding the balance here…make the pendulum stop.

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