when university was going on. i some how managed to pull it off…which is weird because back then my life involved 4 hours of travelling to and from another city and 8 hours at university…because of the travel…when you go there…you stay there…even if you just have one class….
now i got time…a lot of time…have i started the 365 guitar lessons? nope.
and what about going back to the kerboard? nope.
and the violin is rotting in the corner? yep.
and the work outs….ehem…fail….two days of intense full swing motivation followed by 5 days oh “ummm i could try…but ummm i want to read my book..” fail schedule is what it is…
the number of bad habits that i’ve tried to drop…gosh…and the success rate is near to nil. anyway…my only consolation is the saying that those who keep trying are not losers…losers are those who give up! thank you, you sexy little saying you! it’s all about the will i believe. i don’t find excuses, i just resort to stupid ideas such as “we’re all going to die in the end anyway”…..a total contradiction to my belief of living it up..and loving life and all that stuff….
so i didn’t want to budge today…but i did…and i don’t regret it…..2 days into forming one new habit….they say it takes six months of practicing a habit for it to stick with you….i hate these researchers….stats can make you lose hop sometimes…what am i supposed to say to myself? “oh great another 181 days to go till this becomes a habit?”…..or an un-habit…for those habits i want to break….?
i know, i know….nothing applies to everyone in exactly the same way…but it plays in my head…very unlike a broken record…i should zip it ….. and just push it…soon it won’t be 181 but 364 (365?) days and more….
why is this so important? i want to be 30, 40, 50 and fit…i want to still be able to run up stairs, carry crates and live without diet coke (no i won’t give up coffee..it’s a cup of sex for me alll the timeee).. and i don’t want to make it beyond 50 so i think at 50..i’ll just lie in bed and starve myself to death…with out water i’ll say bubye to the world in a week…hurrah! now i like stats…
when so many things are out of your control…the peace in knowing that such things are in your hands provide such a huge sense of peace for me. it means the world to me. people don’t understand when i say, i genuinely do not care what they think about my clothes, or how i look. i am sensitive to how people get affected by my words…(it’s not only about me when some one’s emotions are involved)..but otherwise, it’s all about me, me and me….if i don’t like something i will change it…how i feel is more important than how you think i look…. not that i completely push aside the opinions of others…i will listen…sometimes a second opinion could open your eyes….and that’s not bad at all…
anyway…here’s hoping i (and everyone out there) keeps moving forward without getting stuck..we can do it!!