almost there…making a mark

so i’m finally getting it done…..finally…after years….and i’m going to make it ritualistic…..

it’s normally when i feel empty that i do something to flip the feeling…..i mean i feel empty, often, but to change that all i need to do is take out one of my funky, un-used, new socks and put them on, or trim my hair myself, or wear a t shirt or under wear that i haven’t worn yet….

yeah i’m the kind of person who buys new things rarely….and when i do, i keep them, till some day when i just need to wear something new…

i wanted an eyebrow piercing years back….then i just wanted it….because it just appealed to me….now, after about 4-5 years i want it because some how it’s important to me…something that is mine, something i have to take care of… a little commitment, a little responsibility and something to mark the rest of my life..

university is over, i’m going to start working, i’m going to go in a whole new direction that the steps i took in the last 3 years may not necessarily been the right steps for….but i will return to psychology sometime, or do it on the side…in fact many of you may already know that piercings, like tattoos came about to mark a particular era in a person’s life…and they were also indications of one’s wealth and status and things like that…so they are symbolic… i like giving meaning to things….they blow life into them…

i’m excited, about life again…it’s been long…..and since some things are on hold the regular empty feeling can’t be changed with a new pair of something… i closed my eyes and the first thing that came to mind was that i want the piercing, now….. my mum believes there’s a time for everything…i’m not sure i believe that…i mean i think it’s just one way t put it….i like to believe in’isms’….what is just is…..explanations for what is just as what they are…. (oh and if anyone’s interested there was a talk on TEDx, by a guy who actually outlined something like a philosophy of ‘isms’…couldn’t find the link, but do look it up if you can…it was nice =) )

i was going to do it, walk home and face the music …from my parents….then i thought i’d keep up the good kid reputation…asked my mum, was honest about how i truely wanted it and there, honesty was good to me again….got the ‘yes’, now there’s less ‘stress’….and i’m going to get it done…

i even picked out the clothes i’m going to wear…now i know this may seem lame…but it’s nothing special…they’re just a pair of really reaallllyyyy old jeans (almost 11 years, no kidding), a long-sleeved shirt that must be as old…younger shoes and sort of new socks with Rubik’s cube squares on it… why? ’cause the i’m sup[er comfortable in this ensemble…ok i always put comfort before anything when i dress up…so sometimes i look quite “off”….but i don’t even know how to explain it….i just must look this way, and get it done this way….

got a barbell that i like, now i hope i don’t get infected….

time to welcome one scar on my body that i can actually be proud of….

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