how about another doze of the day before yesterday?

a near perfect day it was…

near-perfect because i don’t believe anything could be perfect…but it was perfect enough…

and why does every good day i have need to be followed by one hell of a bad day? i always do this…it’s like the idea of balance, the need for me to experience not only good is so engraved in me that i just have to do things wrong if i managed to make one day go well….

i spoke to strangers and had a looong catch-up session with an old friend, i got to flaunt my piercing….i did it right…i did that day right…but i had to wake up with a paranoid cricket in my ear yelling “what a day! before a bad day unexpectedly smacks you in the face grab life’s balls and do it wrong.”

not sure how much sense that made…but some of us just think that things have to go a certain way… ok not that we’re bound by routine..but events cannot be normal if they are all good, and too much good is the foreboding for bad so might as well get over with the bad…

gosh i’m not sure if even that made sense…

it makes sense in my head….but when i write it down here…it’s plain confusion…

basically as we see in everything, life has it’s balance to maintain. hot has cold, high has low, good has bad….and when there’s too much good going on, i get over whelmed… i feel like when bad comes, it’s going to be ten times worse…..so i tend to induce a bad state….

yeah it sounds wacky alright… i’ve had conversations with people about how i think i’m going to die because there’s just too much goodness going on in my life at some point in time…and i’ve successfully managed to piss people off for my inability to just take it, eat it and be happy…. i’m not really sad ever,  but i like my head to me in a some what sober state as much as i can….and hence the retarded rituals and stuff to keep things going smooth.

later, after i fuck up and bring this apparent balance back, is when i realize…how much better it was just to dwell in the goodness and let things be…

so much for the “what is is” philosophy….. time to apply it to myself…at least apply it better….

remind me to talk about strangers….

oh right, you don’t talk…i do….

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