pushing my mind..

sometimes these books i pick up… i barely know what i’m getting myself into…

some of these books, the way the authors talk, you need to be well versed… or at least well-enough-versed on philosophy or sociology…. when they Copernican or  something like that, you just need to know the kind of view point they are talking about….

and i, each time i read these, i need to look it up….’cause i only know so much aboutt hese thinkers…

i’m not sure what i’m looking for in these books….but the moment i see something like the ‘simulacra of simulation’…i just must read it…. now it did make sense to me, but every time Baudrillard used some huge word referencing to some one’s theory of some sort…. i’d just stare and blink and then turn to good old, forever young google…

i feel very dufus- like reading them…. and i know very well that i’m supposed to first be brushing up on some basics, then becoming fluent in them but i just jump right into the deep end and get baffled at all the things thrown at me….

but i still do it….i’m still doing it…the new deep end is, ‘parables for the virtual’….. i”m just on the intro, but i’ve been already thrown off course…more over …i’m reading super slow because at times i need to re-read things… wow finishing this will be a task….

i’m not sure what it is…but perhaps, i think by the end of this i feel like i’ll earn something…it’s like a steep mountain to climb, the things that will trigger my movement, thoughts and stir my being will lead to some enlightenment when i reach the peek… and why not… i got no religion, i got no real addiction…i just got these little and big goals to keep me going….


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