change..?..er maybe this time, i’ll pass…

change …

it can happen in the blink of an eye, the drop of a bomb, over 5 years, or a decade……it can happen in so many different ways…it can come in all sizes, shapes, dimensions…yeah you get my point…
things change, people change, we all change….willingly or unwillingly…..bashfully or confidently…. consciously or unconsciously….
and what was before will disappear into a memory…probably never to resurface….the memory may also be forgotten…and it will disappear into nothing…
and that will be that…”end of story…bye bye!”
but somethings….aaah those certain, somethings will stay the same.. however you did it,you manage to keep them the same….
perhaps you never found a reason to change them, or they worked best for you, or you were too scared to change them…you couldn’t erase them…there was no surface for them to resurface on, they’re just constantly there, in the background or foreground…..like the sky and the air…or the sun and the moon…
now if these unchanged factors of your personality, or a certain person’s presence in your life…or whatever….are harmful to you….then, well…simply put…you’re fucked. you need to be slapped across your face…or dipped in fresh lava and woken up…they need to be let go, replaced…forgotten…
like memories…some memories…the traumatic ones…the ones that sting you but do you no good….they deserve to be flushed down the toilet….
sometimes you just must, need to change..for your own good…
then there are some unchanged factors you can actually be proud that they haven’t changed…time and time again, they have proven to work in your favor….maybe, at times you need to apply them a little differently, be creative and flexible….they give you the courage and the power to do things you wouldn’t if you didn’t have them…..
they are the constants…those typical things that you could blame on your nature…things you just can’t or don’t want to change…and the excuses to keep them seem all worth while…
my constant…..the optimism…..i’ve never given up till i’m dead sure nothing at all is going to happen….and it’s been a bitch…it’s brought about a lot of pain…..but because of that i’ve never gone down with out trying, with out fighting,,, “what if”s were becoming regular visitors in my life…and i always thought it was bad that i was regressing into some of my childhood habits…..but if it’s going to leave me with less regrets and bigger lessons learnt…..then i can’t complain…
somethings…i guess…are worth not changing….
i love change…i love movement…but i guess part of just growing up is knowing…no matter how much you like or dislike change…is when you need to welcome it and when you need to point a gun to its head….
wow i do sound like i’m 16….
p.s.: another part of growing up is knowing and accepting that your constants don’t apply to everyone…still learning….still trying to learn…
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