you know when you think you’re the only person on face of this planet who notices a certain thing..? and to a certain extent you think you’re such a genius…and you also think that it’s good that. as far as you know, you in fact are the only one who knows this, because it’s best that the rest of the world, or those around you didn’t?
a year and a half back i decided to cut my hair super short…..now the lovely ladies at the salon were very reluctant to because they thought long hair best suited me…and i’m a girl so long hair is more ‘right’ and my ‘hair is so niiiice, why you want to cut no?’….now you do not tell me to do something…anything…because then i will only get more pleasure in doing the exact opposite….
but hey, i have a heart…..i have slightly out grown the rebellion (though i don’t plan to ever fully outgrow it)……so i did strike a compromise, and the hair cut i got left me a with a little more hair than the one i initially planned to get….. now definitely shame on me…because who were these guys anyway? why did i have to give in, even with an inch of hair? but i did…..not to worry….when my time comes to go bald, no compromise can and will be struck.!!beware!!
anyhooo…so yeah…the hair looked, not-bad….i could pull it off…for a bit…and the plan was not cutting it again, till it grew as long as i could grow it….because i wanted to see it in every stage…although because of my stupidity i missed the first few short stages….
and so my hair grew, and grew….slow as it does…..and it felt weird….because it was looking weird…for a good 4-5 months, in between of then (when i first got the hair cut) and now (when it’s quite long and in a ‘not-bad’ phase) my hair looked just weird..
now when your hair is looking weird…no one talks to you differently….and i don’t mean weird as in cool and unique or crazy….it’s just in that stage where it either needs to be cut again, or some radical change needs to be made, or it needs to grow a lot…fast!….
and when it’s at this stage, and no one talks to you differently or mentions anything or stares at your hair for more than an accepted period of time…you assume…that no one notices….maybe this shitty stage your hair is at, is only noticeable to you, because, well, it is your hair and you deal with it…so you know clearly the changes it goes through…
but if you’re the only one who knows, as distressing as it may be, you can still deal with the fact that it will pass…. in time… at least no one else knows…so it’s like growing a plant in hiding…and then bringing it out when it’s in full bloom….
aaah but i soon discovered that it wasn’t only me who notices…once while having a group study (well the study bit was just for name-sake..we were in a group, but we did more hogging of food and blabbering than anything else).. i was just talking about my plans for my hair when it grew long….and my friend just casually stated “yeah now it’s in that awkward stage..and……” nothing else went into my head…..she noticed!!!???aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah….and now i don’t know if the others around the table noticed it just now, or knew it from before….and who else has notices????!!!
now back then…i didn’t have time to think too much…so yeah…it passed….and the phase for my hair passed as well….
but i was talking about it to a friend yesterday and he was talking about how everyone has that phase at some point….like you’d like to just get rid of your hair or pretend like it’s not there…and so if thy notice it on them, it’s pretty clear and likely that they notice it in you….
they noticed…they must have…if they just made it obvious, even in the most subtle way (more subtle than the friend from the group study) i would have known….
but then i realized it’s inevitable…and what good would have it done me if they made it obvious..? some people would take the effort…and figure out how to make it look more acceptable…me….i wouldn’t take the effort…i’d pretend like my hair wasn’t there and just wait for it to outgrow the silly stage…
so there….you think they don’t know….but they know….they all do…..they’re watching…big brother is watching he….ok…fail…