and when the sun finally comes around the world ends up looking uglier

so from now on, i’m pretty sure the rest of meteors heading towards me and the people i care about won’t require blog posts…

summer has been a bitch … the sun has been throwing sharp spades of fire and it’s pure bullshit…

finally found out what the mysterious meteor was…(meteors, as in bad stuff going on in my life and in the lives of those who are close to me that have taken shapes uglier than ever before..mentioned it all in some old blog posts)…another death…that of a friend’s father….

that, dear world, was unnecessary.. that was just unwanted….he didn’t need this now…he needed goodness…joy, love, a period of pure good…just for sometime…at least a year…some rest, some peace of mind and soul, before the rest of his life could happen….but you just had to piss on it, didn’t you…..??

i know, i know…i’m no one to say anything…what is, is….the great ism….the great fucking ism….i don’t believe there is a purpose or a point that has been predetermined….what is simply is, and we blow life into it with our explanations, our purposes and our justifications… because we believe what we believe…and for some one who doesn’t believe i should let it go and let time take it’s course, but i can barely express my anger and emotion….there is nothing…literally nothing i can do…..

and you know when you know the exactly the way in which some one’s life should unfold…when you know exactly what they need or what they could use?…but it just doesn’t happen that way….and they get exactly what they don’t need….? that’s just messed up….

summer has not been all bad…there has been some good news….and trust me, i make the good news shine brighter than anything…normally…but this summer is breaking me… it’s pushed my patience to the limits, it’s hurt all those who matter to me….and who ever received some stitches to mend the tears in their lives appreciate it the least… to hell with them….

this was unnecessary…he did not have to die…he took a part of his son with him…and his son has a part of me… even super heroes can’t do anything….the dead are dead…and death is a fact..

all i can wonder is, what next?…what more? …or what less?

not to worry, again, we mermaids and mermen will keep trying to swim towards shark-free waters…


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