done before i could have begun

i was going to vent about how you can’t step in and out of some one’s life and expect them to always be welcoming….

you still do it….but more frequently….like some creature, some phantom running about my house preventing me from extinguishing the candle flame as i try to search for it…each time i decide to give up…it quickly scurries past me reigniting my curiosity and thus, keeping the flame alive….

you should know that even though i still respond…as i always will…as i always have to…it’s not as important to me as it was before…

you can’t walk in and out of my life as and when you please and expect to still be there…

you should know that something else has taken over….that this devotion is not new , but it has been reignited and i’m willing to take extreme measure to achieve what i have in mind…

if you feel neglected, i do apologize…but my apology will not make you feel less neglected…and i have no intention of getting back at you…but god, the number of times i felt neglected by you…is no joke….and even though i don’t want to get back at you…that fact makes me more apathetic then empathetic…all apologies..

it’s only about me now…at least for now….i may lose more than i can bare but .. but nothing….extreme measures…that’s all that matters now…


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