and another trip.

logic? logic…. yes, logic must be what’s lacking here….

it takes no genius to figure out that if you reached near-ultimate-burn-out by driving 4 hours back and forth on one day…that driving upto 8 hours will literally kill you… i don’t care if it’s beautifulll…you come from india for fuck’s sake…you’ve seen this and more than this before…sheeeesh…man…

but hey, my parents have their mind set on this death trip…a word from my lips gets ‘the look’…an argument gets several words that in brief mean ‘shutup’…what do i care right? yeah why should i care….my life’s wasting away…every time i think of how i feel..the lack of control i feel..my heart shrivel…all the blood is pumped out…and it feels cold and wrinkled…

there…see…? of course you don’t…and of course they don’t…why should they care…oblivion is the most beautiful pill…see the truth, cover it up, eat more lies, take the pill, open your eyes,  see the truth, cover it up, eat more lies, take the pill…end your lives..

moving on…everyday, myself and i, will brush away the thoughts…break the oblivion pill and take half…it does something to soothe the burn…..

anyway maybe in this trip, i can complete the thoughts i wanted to work on…

the trip to Al Ain, was decent…by the end of the day, i doubt i unmarked all the things i listed that i had planned to think about positively…but it was decent….except…i need a weeks break from all the people i spent time with…i simply cannot spend more than a few hours with everyone…i neeeed my time…or at least when it comes to people i have known all my life…family…when you can predict, correctly what a person is going to say, how, and when…you know you’ve spent way too much time with them….when you can predict it, and it annoys you even before they fulfill your predictions…then you know that you need a huge fucking break from them…

aiy aiy aiy…positive..positive…

it’s just quite a silly, annoying feeling when you know what you need…not what you want, not what you desire…but simply what you need…and you can’t get it for yourself…and those around you are being too selfish to help out…

i hope i never put some one in such a situation…live…and let live…mutual-ness///coexistence…respect…who ever the person might be…

let’s sleep off the feeling for another day…

p.s. i had two heart warming experiences that i’m grateful for…an acquaintence proved to be a friend …and a stranger proved my idea stereotype about most of the people who stare wrong… =) …heart’s feeling warm again…

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