before i fall back, find me a rest-stop..

everyone…well, almost every one has an ideal person that they would like to be….there’s always an attribute they would like to acquire, a talent they’d wish they had , or be better at things that already do….

at times people can barely stand themselves and would like to change every single thing about them, from how they look to how they act…

it’s not easy….not the change…but living with these dissatisfied bits about yourself…. i mean, of course you’ll never be perfect and it can get you places and further in life if you change for the better…

but it’s easy to be hard on yourself…. it’s easy to bring yourself down…you are your best critic, after all…of course there are exceptions….but most of the people i know, are pretty rough about the goals they set for themselves to reach, how they reach them and they are pretty great and looking down on themselves…and they are a great bunch of people….talented, smart, lovely personalities….

but they push themselves in ways that result in them bringing them selves down…

not sure why we do this…

really not sure…

but what have seen is that change, especially change that lasts….comes about when we take more time to reach where ever we want to reach..

when i say more time, i don’t mean eons and lightyears…..but setting smaller goals, to reach that bigger goal and spreading it out over a period of time instead of trying to get there super fast, helps….in that time that we take….it’s like we tell ourselves this is where you want to get…this is what you have to do…so many times that it gets deeper engraved in us….

a lot of the things, i realized that i achieved, came about in time….behaviours became almost automatic and i reached where i wanted to reach gradually, almost unknowingly….

and when you get there….you’re like “oh wow, i’m here?!?!”…

but then, somethings happen more spontaneously… suddenly…life makes you want to just flip and do things instantly …you change, just like that…and it’s awesome….you suddenly act the way you’ve been trying to for ages….

and things are happening…

just like you predicted….things start working for you….you learn how to steer your newly obtained behaviour…or this modified version of you…through whatever waves that hit you…and you do fine, good…great….

but… will this last? i don’t know…i sure want it to….but fear that i can just slip into the old skin the same way i slipped out of it..kinda disturbs me…

i mean, why not…when you’ve built a certain attitude and behaviour, because you found comfort in it….unless you find some other , better way to find comfort…when you need it…you will run back to familiar grounds…

maybe that’s what is needed…a new comfort zone….a net and not a cave to hide….just a rest stop….

hmmm…need to figure this out…

in the mean time…here’s a beautiful philipino band….their fusion of music…rocks my socks…i have no idea what they are saying, but their stuff is absolutely soothing.,..

 

 

 

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