birds of a feather? not quite…

i don’t know about you guys…but when i was younger i was often told by my parents, and “wise” old, elders that the friends you have, the people you hang out with, show what kind of person you are..they are create an impressions of you…and it’s like people are allowed to judge you based on the kind of people you hang out with…

ok, fair enough, to a certain extent i could and can understand it…

first of all groups within the society greaty influence us, and the society or societies we live in also greatly influence us….so when we’re in a group we may knowingly (perhaps for acceptance) or unknowingly give into certain pressures, or even simply start immitating the behaviours of our group members…i mean isn’t that how humans begin to learn…through immitation….and the sense of belonging must be so deeply engrained in us (thanks to how our ancestors learnt that groups were safer and even more productive)..that it is only natural for us to get influenced by the groups we hang out with…and so this affects out character…and thus people may take it for granted that literally birds of a feather flock together….so if we belong to a pretty shitty group, it seems fair to the human mind to assume that we are very similar to members of the group we hang out with…if they indicate the possession of negative or postitive behaviours and thoughts, then it may be assumed the individual in question is the same…

but more often or so, i disagreed with this idea, and pretty much still do…because i learnt that you do not have to be similar to the birds you flock with when there is respect, and open mindedness and a sort of a hunger for what is not typical or ordinary to each individual in a group. Perhaps these are the main values that the individuals have in ‘common’ that make them similar, but appart from that, in terms of immitation and individuality’s limitations that are assumed to be there when people are in groups, i don’t think ti’s really right to say that birds of a feather flock together…or that people can judge you from those who you hang out with, in such a plain, simple black and white manner…

i’ve managed to become friends with people who are very different from me…our musical and artistic interests contrast….our knowledge and abilities are different…our backgrounds and life experiences coulnd’t be more far apart…of course at times we’ve found some strange similar grounds, but in the end, the aims we want to reach in life, our priorities and our hopes and our outlooks differ….what we do have in common is like what i said before, respect, understanding, openmindedness…

don’t get me wrong, i do have a few close buds with whom i share a lot of similarities, but i also have equally closed friends who i am disimilar to…and it cannot be plainly assumed by looking at them that i am a certain way, or anything like them…

but what i believe about the contrasts between those i am around and who i am…and how i think the birds i flock with are linked to me…is in the fact that they add value to my me-ness.. i think the people i come across and interact with and the close friends i have add value to my life and to my being and my character….

what i learn from them, how evolve….all adds value to me….and value to our reltionships, perhaps…jsut because i am around them, i wouldn’t want to be like them, or share the same interests and ideas…but i do form close reltionships with them…and the bonds we form…that too..definitely…yeah the bond….mainly that’s what adds value to my being…it doesn’t matter what others think about who i am because i hang out with certain people….it’s about how these people i meet and greet and hang out with make me feel about me, and my individuality, and how they can improve various aspects of my life by just promoting the way i feel from day to day, through conversations and doing whatever it is that we do together.

yup thats about it…just another thought that sprang up from time i got to spend with him….just realizing how much value just a few good people have added to my life…and just how much top up such an individual can add to the ‘me’ that i am…

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