Un (der) titled

Plato said that the ultimate thing in love…the ultimate goal, height or purpose in love was to achieve beauty….if love fails to achieve beauty, then it has failed all in all…

he (plato) also said that, love is deeper than the physical, and when people get too lost in the physical beauty, they don’t see the depth and they miss out on the greater beauty they achieve…

of course he may not has said it so simply…and plato being plato would not say just ‘beauty’, but the Form of Beauty…

these damn philosophers, can’t be wrong, but can’t be right….just the thing about what can be felt and is intangible….damn feelings and emotions…and why have they spoken about the concept of love, and then just lovers….and what of the characteristics that lovers may have to possess to achieve this beauty? or is that also relative?

not that plato has to be right…but i couldn’t disagree with him…because i consider love to be the ultimate emotion…

you know what i think, one thing that love needs is strength, and strength that give patience, and patience that gives forgiveness and space and understanding for development, change, acceptance, independence and dependence… or maybe these are all things that encompass love, but…maybe if love fades, this fades, and the opposites surface….

or maybe, also, you need to be more of yourself to really fall in love…

you’ll definitely discover yourself in any relationship, and more than ever in love…but you’ll also need to be strong, and have a certain level of maturity, to go past beyond the certain levels and attain happiness, to push your limits within yourself to reach the ultimate that goes beyond what you could have…

 

and i suppose he wasn’t strong enough, and not ready to be where i put him because i was not strong enough and ready to be where he put me…not when he needed me to be and not when i needed him to be…we could have made adjustments…one could have been quicker or the other could have been slower…

but things worked out, or didn’t work out this way…

but i would say a lot of beauty was achieved…he made his decision himself, i made mine before he made his that his decision would fuel my actions, till then i will stay true to my word…

and a lot of lessons were learnt…

he got his closure…

later i got mind…

life will go but it won’t be the same…what’s more is that, i reconfirmed something that i knew before, but also contradicted a lot of beliefs…and i know in the next week of getting over loss i will hurt, blame myself, hate him, hate all involved at any point…and cry and cry, and be okay and cry again…and hate myself for thinking i stooped down when i least should have…

but it will pass…beautiful memories will remain , with many lessons learnt, and a lot more clarity, about yourself and the person you once loved, and possible still do but in a slightly different way…

god, it hurts…

and memories light up all over, unfinished business, undone plans, but it’s okay…it’s okay…

 

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2 thoughts on “Un (der) titled

  1. Hi Nip F. Noip,

    I’ve taken a three month hiatus or so from blogging. I can’t remember the last time I checked up on your blog now, but it is there amongst the dozen or so that I was following for a few months.

    If this post is an indication, I probably saw something in your loss that I related to. I was officially divorced from my high school girlfriend in January, and throughout the Fall and Winter of 2010 was dealing with that separation.

    The dealing with of course doesn’t really end. It’s just all part of the deal though. I’ve loved the word palimpsest for a long time now. It means something, like a canvas, that gets continuously painted and/or written on. At some point, the original paintings and writings get buried by the newest layers. But the layers add texture and richness. And we just keep on getting better, or so I hope, at painting – so that the newest layer might end up best approximating the Form of Beauty.

    I’ll undoubtedly check in now and then. Here’s hoping that you’ll find subscriber number 2 by 2012.

    Dedalus

    • Nip F. Nolp?

      Hi..nah, i was just amused as to why anyone would subscribe, but that’s cool…

      i hate saying this, but that’s life yeah…you gain, you lose, you ‘ll hurt and laugh and all that lies behind us, influence what lies beyond us, and it’ll be part of our strengths and our weaknesses and the wrinkles, lines and contours of our faces and bodies…and it’s all good…or it all will be…..better perhaps…life will keep having its ups and downs…and i think the palimpsest is a brilliant metaphor, and a beautiful way to build a bridge to the Form of Beauty..

      i hate that i’m starting to hate him, with all the criticism he through my way, and how i didn’t see the things i didn’t like so much about him as ‘flaws’ necessarily..and i barely bit back…because i never thought this was child’s play…you slap me, i slap you, made little sense to me….i guess it’s just another layer on the palimpsest…

      i know that i can’t say something just as meaningful as you did, and like you said the dealing with will get easier, and i hope that a lot of good comes you way…

      keep blogging…there are many of us out here hearing/reading you out…

      -poisonuranus

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