embracing the dick in you

so it took me drastic steps to devalue certain things, then give them utmost importance and then to be spat in the face to know that i would come back to square one and stay there…

 

stay there….stay in touch…

i was always in touch…in and out of love…

but i made family on the way…never make family…

maybe it doesnt apply to others…but me and family, arent words that go together…always loved it, always believed in it…but when i tasted sugar, i let it go…not totally…but to a great extent…

and now its back to embracing my dickness..

dont get me wrong…being a dick isnt about being an asshole to others…or hurting anyone…or whatever whatever…its about giving less of a fuck..about shit, society…blah blah…tight ideas and rules and adjustments…all fine to a certain  extent…if you want securuty…thats exactly what my kind of “dick” doesnt want…security….

on edge, on “fuck it”s and “fuck off”s…..the air, nature, the look in a new born’s eyes, and those in some strangers…thats real…the rest…is so, so…soemthing…but not it…not that tip of ultimate beauty/reality….maybe once or twice i saw the look in a lover’s eyes…but i can’t be sure…

either way its gone…

i’ve gone…too..

i’ve sort of come back…

me me me me me me me me me…and more me…

need to figure how to , keep the good lessons i learnt and all the funny awesome memories i had, with out blurring them with viscous oil of those few moments of hate and pain and confusion…

 

if you’re in love…

you must be blessed…

me? i’m in …out of something…

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