a piece of Pi and I…

‘The Life of Pi’….reading it…liking it, at times…loving it, at times…and in my protest to not move today , Pi moved me…or well, Yann Martel did..

there’s this nice feeling you get when you start to like an author and what he writes…and the feeling gets elevated when you similarities in thought between you and them.

i’ve been dweling on the idea of the ‘tree of life’…how trees act like metaphors for each of lives and how our lives are so much like these basic being of nature….

and while Pi was on his lifeboat, when all that humor in him was diminishing and he began to acknowledge the fact that he had lost his family…he compared the loss of his brother to losing some one who would bring others into the family, like a sister-in-law and such, “creatures to people the tree of your life and give it new branches,” and losing one’s father is like losing “who supports you like a tree trunk supports its branches,” and to lose your mother is “like losing the sun above you.”

i may not agree with his comparisons to family, but in his comparisons i understood how he felt…and it felt even cooler because the metaphors he used, we metaphors that have recently spinning in my mind…

and that’s that…

that’s the first glimmer of ‘feel-good’ i felt today..

and the second was brighter than a glimmer…that came with glimpses of his face, along with   a message on an ipad…

everything else that i believed help get me through the day..his presence, live and full, our sense and senselessness…the smiles of innocent faces, the people i had come to befriend who made me laugh like an idiot, and old friends and things we laughed about by simply hinting at the joke…all my branches, leaves and flowers…are momentarily hacked, plucked and distanced,,,,all, against my will…and whether the results of this weather are permanent..only time will tell..

i don’t want time to tell….i am tired as fuck….i want time to go back, and return into the uncertain yet fulfilling path it was going on…i want to go on learning all i was learning, and go on growing as i was growing…and feeling all that i was feeling…sensing and breathing…

and what of the new branches springing up on my trunk? they make me twitch…i am not comfortable, and i do not trust….they are changes, but they are not developments…the only growth i can try to achieve for now, is in my space, my world..,,and perhaps a bit from these newbies on my territory….i’m a newbie in their territory as well…so i guess it’s fair…

in their territory with Shallom TV running in the background and a spoiled 3 year old and an oblivious grandmother…at least the cousins aren’t too bad…just because they are related to me by blood it means nothing at all…nothing at all…blood is not like tree sap…at least not on my tree…

anyway before i go on ranting about the rest of the worst joke all of this has become, and the memories i cherish (because, after all, when everything is said and done, regardless of whether or not you will have more of it, memories are all that you really own) i ‘ll just go…can’t wait for today to end…don’t care if tomorrow happens…not right now..

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