distanced

my idea of hell for a while has been this, a space of nothingness…you can hear nor speak to anyone, you can’t feel or see and can’t be seen or felt…so i’m guessing that you wouldn’t even be able to see your own hand…but you know that you’re existing because you can, for the first time really see and perceive nothingness…pure emptiness…

not that i believe hell or heaven exist…but if i wanted to freak some one out with the idea of an after life, i think this would be scarier than a hole of burning fire…to be able to perceive but not feel…

off lately i find myself searching for this hell….and painting my picture of it….only thing is when im seeking it…it’s not hell…but a comfort zone..

 

i find myself sitting, sleeping or walking in an expanse of white….walking home, i push away the buildings, on either side, making them clear the way in front of me, so i’m no longer walking on the pavement or road, but just plain white ground and reality….my apparently real surroundings are just like art work in a gallery…

so i’m not participating here in this world…im just a passerby…

in class…i find myself pushing away the kids, the white board with the funky coloured markers…the bright walls with 1’s and 2’s and abc’s…while i sit on a little red chair watching moving pictures in an expanse of white ground.

 

my detachment has become more real….i’ve given distance, a colour…white…

 

 

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2 thoughts on “distanced

  1. You’ve told me this idea of hell – and I agree, it is a whole lot scarier and filled with anxiety. But like you said, once could make peace with that kind of surrounding whereas it seems unimaginable to be able to make peace with being burnt in a ‘hole of fire’ that’s being bursting with flames for an uncountable number of years…

    • i don’t think it’s imaginable to make peace with either… i just said that i find myself making a mini version of this whiteness, but i can still see the rest of the world around me…but in my concept of hell you can see nothing….one hell seems more like physical torture (the burning one) while the other seems more psychological….and in essence both are equally bad because as with most things in life the physical and psychological are interlinked and one will effect the other….i was referring to me personally when i said that psychological torture would be more straining on me than physical…some people are mentally much stronger…

      p.s. you read =) true to your word =)

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