Not supposed to’s

Sometimes u get advice when u don’t ask for it…but it couldn’t be at a more perfect time…when we’re standing in the warmth of this Middle Eastern summer after a nice, cool swim which involved more cuddling than swimming…
We were talking about something something something staring out the skyline of this city that’s so desperate to to look older than it is…that’s so dull yet colourful because of the people you meet…because there’s so much anomoly and irony in its structure and because there’s us..him …
And he staring into the view that I share with him and out of the blue he tells me to keep my battle scars..out of the blue he digs out a  conversation where I spoke of burying the past….a conversation that I thought was buried under the conversations that followed with out his words to complete it…

His reasoning…losing the scars won’t erase the past…i don’t know if i’d take his advice…and I don’t know if i’m strong enough…but I know he is..was..and will be right..

And I just feel grateful for those who have loved me with out having to ‘supposed to’ love me…not because they we were born under the same family name or some shizznit..but because they just happened to..because we just clicked..and no doubt, some have also brought a lot of pain and harshly taught lessons…but regardless of the reasons some of us need to be reminded that we have value…just as much value as anyone in this world deserves…and that we are loved…some of us need that push to gain self worth, respect and self trust…and when the ‘supposed to’s taught me the extent of selfishness that could exist in this world, it’s the ‘not supposed to’s who taught me the extent of love and care that could exist….

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