selfishly selfless

ever since i concluded that true altruism does not exist and everyone is selfish…i took it upon myself to view good deeds of others as good, but nothing great ..

people praise them , constantly…for having big hearts…while I sit in the corner clapping my hands that are half cupped, so that my clap isn’t too loud…as if to praise them, but not give too much praise…

it springs from the idea that everyone is selfish, because everyone is ultimately alone…and when they do something that seems selfless…it’s not really because of selflessness but to fulfill some selfish need…even if it simply a nod of approval, a smile or a thank you or a million dollar cheque…all to earn something materialistic, or something that is less tangible…like being liked, or proving something to some one, or to please or attain blessings of one’s god…

ultimately, the good is done for one’s own selfish reasons…

but…
the fact that I failed to point out to myself, or to anyone who had to hear me go on about this..is that if anyone , can do somethinng good for some one else to fulfill their own selfish motives then they definitely should not be viewed with disdain, like I, unfortunately have on several occasions…
if you’re being selfish and it only.benefits you..well fair and square I guess…but if you could benefit some one else …why that’s the best kind of selfishness …
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I guess I ought to have realized this earlier…

I.guess I also wish that our society wouldn’t look down on selfishness..and look upto so-called selflessness…instead it fully acknowledged selfishness but also the importance of directing it towards the goal of benefiting eachother as well as ourselves…

that’s all…

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