I’ve accepted that no one can love you more than they love themselves.
It’s a fact. Parents, hold your horses, I know that when it comes to your children you may put their lives before yours. But everyone has to also look out for themselves, and sometimes when we get mad, when we get hurt with regards to someone else, is because we feel unloved by them. We feel like they are ‘ungrateful’ for the love we give them.
But what if we accepted that no one could love us more than they love themselves? Then we wouldn’t get disappointed, we wouldn’t draw conclusions on their level of gratefulness, or the level they love us.
We accept facts, and we accept not expecting.
Of course this is different from being mistreated (whatever degree the mistreatment is) and just living with it. Firstly, I believe everyone deserves basic respect of being human, even your enemy, and then when it comes to a loved one, there’s a degree of giving, understanding, communication, a bond.
And I guess all those things and more create the line that distinguishes friends, passer-bys, family and lovers.
But I believe that the moment we stop expecting this love to be absolutely unconditional and focused on us, us and just us…and the moment we accept that even though we think we somehow do “more” for them than they do for us we actually, are also only capable of exhibiting so much love…..then we don’t get disappointed when some gestures don’t match up to our so-called standards….
then we accept and give love more freely..
because disappointment…which we do not want to create….is also something we should avoid feeling…especially unnecessarily…because it creates little tears in our hearts that get bigger and harder to mend and can rip is into two, even when it didn’t need to….because people show their love in different ways…and although they may not have shown us the gestures that we expected to see ….there are other gestures that bring out their emotions…. because life doesn’t work like clock work…. and we’re not going to see and feel things as and when we want, especially when these things come from some one else….but their actions will happen in their own time….. and sometimes, there will be a coincidence….and that is wonderful, beautiful…. but in other times we can’t let ourselves give into our own grand expectations.
Those expectations, actually mean that we are really just creating the sense of disappointment for ourselves…
Just accept and give love more freely….
Let those shoulders go slack, welcome that back rub when you’re too angry to be touched, take that hug when you’re mood is off, hold that hand when you’re mad that you can’t lift yourself up…