Trial and Failure

Not too long ago I thought that everything could be explained and if you explained something enough at some point the other person would get it. And when I say ‘get it’ I mean really understand, empathize, ‘get it.’

It wasn’t always important to be understood 100% but when I thought that the issue, was really an issue; when it involved someone really close to me; when adjustments needed to be made; when I really needed help; yes it was and I guess, is really important to be understood.

I also thought that the value of the second chances we earn, or give would easily be understood by all those involved. And therefore the ‘everything’ that needs to be explained in light of the second chances would even more so be easily explained.

And I thought this was totally possible. I’ve tried, the simple straight explanations, the expanded explanations. I’ve used all my heart,  let the emotions out, expressed every emotion I could. I tried role play when I felt my feelings still didn’t come through.

Really, if you feel like someone doesn’t ‘get’ what you’re saying, sometimes it really helps to take them through the situation by pretending like whatever happened, happened to them. Again, it depends on the other person as well.

Role-play was great. I got several ‘aha!’ reactions. I felt my opinion was getting a bit of respect. But when it came down to it, I realized I still was not understood.

Finally, I had to really put them in a similar situation. A mini-simulation. When I say mini – I mean minute. I indirectly replayed what I felt I had experienced. I got a big, slightly sad, ‘AHA’.

Value of the second chance – very moderately understood

Patience – a fruitless virtue

It’s been months now. And it sucks to see that no matter what I’ve tried, I probably won’t really be understood. The gravity of my situation can still make apples float in their world; not as high as before, but they don’t touch the ground.

It’s time to give up. I never thought, I’d ever reach a point in my life, when I’d give in and say that I guess, that they never will really understand.

What this means, for what we have, I’m not sure.




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