Talking to someone helps, no doubt…always.
If you don’t get advice, or some sort of input, at least you get to vent a little.
I didn’t like the idea of this for a long time, but with some of the good relationships I managed to somehow hold and nourish in the past few strange years of my life, I got comfortable, and let my thoughts slip out into the air. I’d let them go a little, then become aware of my vulnerability , but to my luck find the person facing me, empathetic and strangely enough glad to hear me open up.
The lack of trust was undoubtedly on reason I chose not to share much with those around me, but even more than that it was the fear of being influenced by their opinions. No one will feel, and see things exactly as you do, and of course you can’t be right most of the time. I wanted to look at every possible angle of a problem I was facing by myself and then figure out the solution.
But I’ve been getting too used to this.
And I’ve been struggling to rely on my own judgement.
I’ve been saying things I don’t mean….and saying things that simply don’t help.
I need to tune out of this rut and tune into myself. I need to use what everyone taught me and tailor it to fit me.
Now is not the time to let myself down….there should never be a time when it’s ok to let myself down.