Why sorry Should be the Hardest thing to say :
When you apologize you are not just saying “Hey I messed up and I know it.” You are also asking to be forgiven. And, now this is something that just recently came to mind. I realized you’re asking them to somehow, more or less, maintain their relationship with you as if no dents were created by their mistake.
Does that make sense? Maybe that’s what forgiveness is? The thing is, I feel like I can forgive but I will remain cautious till enough time and events have passed to confirm that the mistake was a genuine one off or at least the person is making an effort to not repeat it and eventually (and quickly) the mistakes stop happening.
Ok so maybe I am an asshole that makes saying sorry complicated. But I think it should be. I’m hard on myself about repeating mistakes. I’m also hard on myself about what I apologize for and the honesty in my apology.
Anyway, back to the point.
Making allowance to trust someone again and again is easy for some people but I think after certain number of instances it just makes us gullible idiots. And I think even if we don’t consciously think about it, if we constantly repeat mistakes and expect to be forgiven I think, (a) we take the person we are hurting for granted and (b) we can’t think much of their self-respect.
When you say sorry, you are asking for patience. You may be saying that this will never happen again or maybe that you are prone to do it again (because perhaps it’s a habit) and that you may require more than just forgiveness from them.
That’s a BIG thing to say. It’s also a ballsy thing to say.
An apology isn’t meant to rest on a fleeting sense of obligation.